


Die a Happy Man

by its_worse_than_that



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-29 05:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15066380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_worse_than_that/pseuds/its_worse_than_that
Summary: Jim and Bones take a long needed vacation. That's it. Cute, fluffy, and smutty all at once. Enjoy!Short chapters, but there's a lot of them to come! <3





	1. Chapter 1

An hour, and Leonard McCoy was still hidden away in the bedroom of their apartment. After another ten minutes he finally emerges and Jim’s head perks up immediately. “What do you think Jim, blue or red?” 

“We all know that red on anyone but Scotty ends badly, so blue. And besides, blue looks good on you.” was Jim’s response.

“Okay, almost done, just a few more things to find and then we’ll be out of here.”

“Should we bring the kitchen sink too…?” Jim mumbled.

“Smart ass.” Bones spit at him.

“You would know.” He smirked. McCoy just rolled his eyes and went back to cramming things into his bag. 

Jim had been packed for an hour seeing as his faithful and grouchy doctor wouldn’t let him pack his own bag, he was splayed across the couch anxiously awaiting Bones to just give it up and join him. He’d been staring into the bedroom for a good forty minutes before he got tired of watching his beloved Doctor scramble to find different articles of clothing and towels and his medkit and wait a minute was that a bottle of lube? No, surely not… and then he had to run to the bathroom cause he almost forgot his toothbrush; Bones would have killed him. Walking out of the room he heard the distinct slamming of the cabinet in their shared bedroom. He poked his head in the doorway to check on the doctor, only to find him blushing and shoving something into his already overcrowded bag.

“Len?” Jim asked hesitantly.

“Hm?” McCoy looked up from struggling to zip his bag to meet Jim’s gaze.

“You okay in here?” Jim asked, waiting for Len to answer.

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course. You ready to go?” Bones asked, shaking his head.

“Ready when you are babe.” Jim said with a smile.

Leonard smiled back and grabbed his bag off the bed. He slung it over his shoulder and strode through the doorway, only pausing to kiss his captain and grab his hand to pull him towards the door to their quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mature content ahead! Beware!

Jim’s “Would you just tell me where you are whisking me away to?” was met with more silence, though this time it was accompanied by a smile. Not just a smile, but a toothy grin. A few more minutes passed and Jim thought he would try his luck again. “Can you tell me yet?”

“You’ll see.” Was his response.

“So you do know how to speak. Amazing.” Jim was getting tired of the clipped answers.

“Oh darlin’, I can do so much more than that…” Bones said with a smirk.

“What that supposed to mean!?” Jim exclaimed.

“You’ll see…” McCoy said again.

“No, tell me. Tell me now.” Jim demanded.

“Be patient and you’ll see…” Len had never smirked so any times in such a short amount of time.

But of course, Jim was too god damn stubborn to accept that as an answer. He reached over and began to unbutton Len’s pants.

“Jim, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He asked.

“You’ll see…” Jim said with a smirk to mirror all of the ones that Bones had been giving him all day. 

“Jim-” McCoy started, but never got the chance to finish… Jim wrapped his hand around Len’s cock and the doctor let out a long sultry moan. He had to tighten his grip on the steering wheel of the old Chevy to keep his focus. Len had already been on edge for far too long, hence why he had insisted that they go somewhere other than their quarters and whatever local bar was having karaoke that night.

“Whoah there Bonesy, keep the car on the road.”Jim said, smirking again. To which McCoy had to grit his teeth as Jim started to drag his hand up and down his shaft, stopping only momentarily to thumb his slit. Three miles down the road and Leonard was a panting moaning mess. 

“Jim… Jim please…” He panted.

“Please what honey?” He said, sugar oozing from his voice.

“Please… Want to- Need to…” Len was fighting to keep himself righted and the car steady on the road. But when Jim wrapped this sinfully silky lips of his around his cock, he was done for. He had to pull off to the side of the road. He came into Jim’s mouth with a drawn out, ragged, utterly wrecked moan. But Jim looking up at him as he faithfully swallowed every last drop had the doctor squirming in his seat by the time Jim pulled off of him and straightened himself in his own seat, clicking his seatbelt back in place.

McCoy slumped over in his seat, sighing and throwing his hand over to envelop Jim’s in his own. Kirk smiled and looked over lovingly at his partner. “Feeling any better, darlin’?” He asked, putting emphasis on the last word.

“You’re gonna be the death of me kid…” was his response.

“So…” Jim said, getting the sparkle in his eyes that is impossible to miss.

“Yes?” Len queried.

“You gonna tell me now?” Jim was full-on grinning by now.

“Not a chance.” Len replied with a smirk of his own. He sat up and revved the engine again before taking off back onto the road and off into the sunset.

“What a sight we must be…” Jim huffed.

“What do you mean?” McCoy asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Two lovestruck idiots in their noble steed of a car, riding off into the sunset. How cliche.” He laughed this time. To which Bones erupted into a bought of deep, hearty laughter. The kind that made Jim’s fingers twitch for want of holding the doctor in his arms and kissing him ‘til they were both gasping for breath. But if Bones wanted to be stubborn and refuse to tell him where they were going, then Jim was just gonna have to out-stubborn him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim’s eyes fluttered open and he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, collecting the strand of drool in his sleeve. Rather than the unforgiving desert sun that he had fallen asleep to, he looked up and was met with the infinite clusters of glowing stars and he smiled. The stars had become like a blanket across the sky and enveloped all that was thriving underneath it.

Bones had his eyes steadily on the road, but reached over and rubbed a few gentle strokes across Jim’s thigh. Kirk covered his lover’s hand with his own and brought it to his lips.

“We’re almost to the airport, love.” McCoy whispered. It was the last thing that Jim remembered before he fell asleep again.

Three hours and what felt like an eternity later, Jim was being nudged awake by warm hands and breath that smelled like peach cobbler and whiskey (thank god for breakfast this morning). “Come on darlin’, help me unload the car. We’ve got a shuttle to catch.” Jim shook himself awake and put on the biggest smile he could muster for still being absolutely exhausted. Len offered his hand out, which Jim took quickly after unbuckling his seatbelt. 

“So you kidnap me, against my will, and then make me do the grunt work? How typical…” Jim said with a devious smirk.

McCoy turned around with a hand on his hip, and without missing a beat came back with, “If you wanna drive your ass home, be my guest, but i’m catching this shuttle and getting my money’s worth out of this trip… although I have to admit, I will get awfully lonely…” and gave Jim his best attempt at the infamous “puppy eyes”.

Jim huffed and popped the trunk and started tossing things at his doctor, only half hoping he would catch them. Three bags later and Jim had to wonder what the hell was in store for this on this year’s annual vacation shore leave. Last year they had escaped to New Zealand (Jim’s idea of course), and he hadn’t told Bones where they were going until they landed in the shuttle bay in Wellington, so this was payback… They hadn’t packed this much last year, had they? Surely not…

“Hey Bones?”

“Yes darlin’?”

“Can you tell me where we are going now?” 

“Not yet…” McCoy said, flashing Jim a rare toothy smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry I've been gone so long.. I have been interviewing for new jobs and working on buying a house and moving, so thats taken up almost all of the time I would have spent on writing... So as a sort of reward for your patience, I gift to you TWO NEW CHAPTERS! Enjoy! 
> 
> Love always

They throw their bags in the overhead compartments of the shuttle and Jim is jittery and his leg won’t stop bouncing once they’re seated. He leans over into Leonard’s lap to look out the window after take off to see the moon. Luckily for him he still remembered most of what his astrology teacher had taught him at the academy, so he knew they were headed northeast. But aside from that, he was still clueless. Bones smiled and ruffled his captain’s hair and Jim just laid his head in the doctor’s lap. The infamous Captain Kirk was a complete sucker for having his head scratched.

Next thing Jim knew he was being shifted and his doctor was getting up. “Better be getting changed darlin’... we’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” Jim asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Fi-... nice try asshole. Almost slipped up there…” McCoy said with a grin, before walking away towards the bathroom with his carry on.

Jim slumped back into his seat with a smirk. So they WERE going back to the beach! Bones was totally about to say Fiji. No doubt about it…


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this might be the last chapter for a while, moving is time consuming and stressful, especially when you;ve bought a fixer-upper. I'll try to update as soon as I can! Enjoy!
> 
> Love always

Bones had been in there quite a while… what was he doing in there? It doesn’t take that long to change into cargo shorts and a hawaiian shirt. Jim shifted uncomfortably in his seat and reached to undo his seatbelt, but just as he moved to stand up, he heard the bathroom door slide back open. He looked up with a smile and his infamous bright eyes, which immediately changed to a look of confusion. 

McCoy walked out of the bathroom in what looked like a pair of long johns, a sweater, thick khaki pants, snow boots, and holding a parka in his hand. Not exactly what Kirk was expecting… “Uh? What in the world are you wearing?” he stuttered out.

“You might want to follow suit and go change. We’ll be landing here soon… it might be a bit chilly when we get off the shuttle…” the doctor smiled and handed the captain his carry-on. “Everything you need is in here. Oh, and be careful, that bathroom is awful cramped.” Jim grabbed the bag out of his hand and headed to the bathroom pouting. He was really looking forward to something a little… warmer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Definitely not Fiji… Needless to say, Jim was not thrilled when the plane finally landed and he slid into his parka and he had to waddle out of the shuttle only to be slapped in the face with a gust of freezing wind that stung his cheeks and made his eyes water. He turned to Bones and glared… “So much for palm trees and tropical birds! What language even is that!?” Jim exclaimed, pointing to the sign in front of them.

“Awe come on man! That’s Finnish! Didn’t they teach you anything at the academy? Oh, that’s right… you were too busy studying the uh, human anatomy? Ain’t that right?” Yet another one of Jim Kirk’s infamous glares was shot back in Bones’ direction. “We are at the Ivalo Airport for your highness’ information.”

“As if it wasn’t cold enough in San Francisco in the winter at her whopping 54 degrees in December!” Jim exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

“Well at least try to contain your excitement there darlin’. And maybe sound a little gracious for all the time and effort Lt. Uhura and I spent trying to plan out this vacation for you?” Bones replied with a huff. “We still have a half hour trip from the airport to the uh.. the “hotel”.”

“What the hell? What do those air quotes mean, huh? Are we staying at some janky place? You better tell me right now Leonard H. McCoy or we are gonna throw some hands.”

“You’ll see…” he simply smirked. Jim sighed as loudly as he possibly could… ‘what a drama queen…’ McCoy thought to himself. “Well, off to Kakslauttanen it is then.”

“Wait, wait.. Kaka- what the hell? Okay, before you drag me off to some god forsaken place, i’m stopping for some food. I’m starving.”

“Of course you are…” Bones chuckled as Jim dragged him through the airport to the nearest gift store.


End file.
